Let’s be honest, 2020 has been rough and one of the strangest years I think we’ve experienced in a while. There’s been so much chaos, stress, and negativity. Because of everything, I know a lot of people have been struggling with their mental health more than usual. Trust me, you’re not alone. But there is one thing that I’m confident that I can help you overcome and it makes a big difference when it comes to your mental health and the way you look at yourself. Toxic talk.
We all have times that we are our own worst enemy. We put ourselves down and beat ourselves up about something we said or did. One thing I tell myself all the time is, “Omg, I’m so stupid.” Even if it’s a small mistake that I laugh about. It’s become a habit that I wasn’t even aware of.
My mom was actually the one that caught me and told me to stop talking to myself like that. So now, when I make a small mistake, I change that statement to, “Wow, I’m so smart.” See what I did there? Even if it’s a sarcastic statement to myself, the sentence is now positive.
I quickly realized how that one sentence was toxic to my self-esteem. That made me think about all the other things we tell ourselves often that we really need to stop. The thing is, the things we tell ourselves we actually start to believe. It’s scary because we’re constantly making ourselves believe these mean and negative things about ourselves. That’s why it’s so important to stop the habit of this toxic talk.
Stop Telling Yourself…
“I’m not good enough“
I know we all have told ourselves this at least once in our lifetime, right? The thing is, we are so wrong. We are all here for a reason and we all have a purpose. If you don’t know what your purpose is, it’s time to go search for it.
Write a list of everything you’re good at. If you can’t think of much, write a list of things you want to be good at. Focus on these things.
“I can’t do it”
Yes, you can. You have just given up too soon. Get back up and try it again. If it’s something you really want to do, you’ll find a way to do it no matter what it takes.
I think the first thing you should ask yourself when you feel this way is, do I love myself? You know the saying, you have to love yourself before anyone can love you. It’s kind of true. Once you truly love yourself, that confidence will shine.
What can you do to start your relationship with yourself?
“I’m not attractive”
This is a popular one. What makes you feel that way? The great thing about being human is that you can change. You don’t like your hair, change it up! Do you want to lose weight? Start a workout routine. Don’t get yourself stuck feeling this way because you don’t have to be.
Please remember though, what you tell yourself is what you start to believe. You don’t need to change anything except the way you talk to yourself. You can change the “I hate my body” to “I’m perfect just the way I am.”
“I’m going to fail”
You’re probably right. Hear me out though. We all fail at something before we’re good at it! It’s literally part of the process. This is a statement that I want you to change your feelings about. You are going to fail then you’ll become good at it. This is only if you stop being scared of the failure part. Instead, tell yourself “I failed that. I learned from it. Let’s continue to get better at it.”
One day, you’ll look back and be like, “I remember when I was bad at this. Look at me now.” Baby steps.
“I don’t have time”
How many times have you canceled on somebody or something for this excuse? The truth is, we all can make time for something or somebody we care about. If you have a lot to do, make a priority list. If you can’t do it that day, fit it in for the next day if it’s possible. Just don’t sweep it under the rug for too long or it’ll become a nasty habit that a lot of us fall into.
One thing that has helped me with this personally is getting a planner. Having a visual of tasks I need to complete is a total game-changer.
Two planners I highly recommend are:
The one statement I had to learn to break myself. This can totally destroy your self-confidence if you let it. Why do you say this to yourself? If it’s because you make a lot of mistakes, remind yourself we all do. Then find one area at a time that you can work on improving. Most importantly, when you find yourself saying “I’m stupid” correct yourself. You’re not stupid. You’re learning, improving your skills, and you’re growing.
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Are You Ready?
Are you ready to stop the toxic talk? You can do it. Whenever you feel yourself saying any of these things to yourself, remember to correct yourself. Switch the negative phrase to something positive.
I want you to write a list of all the negative phrases you catch yourself saying. Then I want you to turn that phrase into something positive. This isn’t an overnight habit fixer. It’ll take time. But one day you’ll realize how much better you feel about yourself now that you’re done with the toxic talk.
Need more positive content? Check these articles out!
- 25 Positive Affirmations
- 7 Ways To Change Your Life
- 15 Motivational Quotes
- 20 Ways to Spread Happiness
- 10 Ways To Find Yourself When You Feel Lost