Hey guys! So I really need to share something with you all. Something important. A message that I wish I was told a few months ago when I was really struggling. Here’s my recent story and what I learned from it.
So, I’m 21 years old, fresh out of college, and I can barely afford my rent. I’ve barely been able to get by with a small online job that I was lucky to get but still, I was really struggling. I hated the idea of asking people for help but it got to that point. I think the part that was really frustrating was that I was applying for jobs everyday and everywhere. I was applying to jobs that I didn’t even think I qualified for because I was that desperate. It soon dawned on me that my disability was a big factor in getting turned down to the jobs I knew I was able to do. I just needed somebody to take a chance on me. Day after day, that “light at the end of the tunnel” wasn’t even visible and I was pretty sure it didn’t exist.
Months went by and even though I was trying to get jobs and was waiting to hear back from the job I really wanted, I was losing hope. You know that saying, “Good things come to those who wait.” or maybe even “God will provide.” I thought, why isn’t good things coming my way? I’m really struggling. Why isn’t God providing when I’m really struggling? I thought those things but still, I prayed. I prayed for an opportunity. I prayed for financial stability. I prayed for my happiness to return.
Recently, I realized my apartment lease was about to end and I had to renew. I knew that usually rent goes up when you renew but I wasn’t prepared for it to go up $60. I remember opening that letter and LAUGHING. I was hysterical. I thought, could this get any worse? What now? I had to really ground myself and tell myself that it will be okay. It had to be okay.
A couple of days later, I go into the apartment office and asked if there’s any way to lower the rent, even $20. That was a no, of course. Although, I did learn that I had one of the lower jumps in rent. Knowing my rent could have been a lot higher, I decided to count my new rent amount as a blessing. I remember just closing my eyes and accepted everything going on. What will be, will be.
Later that same day, I was at the park with my mom. We had a nice walk, we were playing with her dog, and I was actually enjoying myself when I got a phone call. It was from the job that I really wanted. I was scared to answer because my luck hasn’t been the best lately and the last thing I needed to hear that day was “You didn’t get the job.” But that’s not what happened.
They were calling me to let me know I got the job! I was going to be okay.
The point of this post isn’t about me complaining or to rant endlessly about how I was struggling. It’s to let you know that no matter how much you’re struggling right now, it will not stay that way. You will find your solution. You will find that purpose for all of the struggling and heartache you’re going through right now. Just when I thought things couldn’t get worse, they did get worse but then they got better.
We’re all on our own journey in life and there’s going to be some very bumpy roads but keep holding on and keep going. It’s not the end.